The serious work of leadership and the joyfulness we forget

On average, a four-year-old laughs nearly 100 times a day, often in moments of pure play with friends. Adults? Barely a handful. Where did our laughter go?

Leadership can be serious business. But does it have to be joyless?

Leadership carries real responsibility and it often feels heavy.  In my coaching conversations with executives and school leaders, one theme comes up frequently: the weight of “shoulds.”  Work should be calmer by now. People should be easier to deal with.  I should have figured this out already. Carrying those expectations is exhausting and no laughing matter. Stress multiplies, especially when leaders forget that their own response is part of the equation. The pressure builds, perspective narrows, and humour disappears.

That is why I try to hold onto laughter. My husband has an uncanny ability to make me laugh, even in the middle of something serious. He even shows me ridiculous social media clips of practical jokes and funny cat videos! Those moments that take me, often unwillingly, into momentary areas of respite are enough to flick the switch that reminds me that leadership can be demanding without becoming joyless. Laughter does not trivialise responsibility.  It strengthens the resilience needed to carry it.

What the research tells us

A strong body of research supports the value of retaining lightness in leadership. Studies from the Mayo Clinic show that laughter reduces cortisol and adrenaline, increases oxygen flow, and triggers the body’s relaxation response. Harvard Business Review reports that appropriate humour strengthens trust, improves psychological safety, and enhances team performance. Work from the American Psychological Association reinforces that laughter widens perspective and helps people regulate stress more effectively. Researchers in Psychological Science also found that even small changes in facial expression, such as smiling, activate the brain’s reward system and lift mood. Together, this evidence shows that humour is a physiological and relational tool that helps leaders stay grounded, resilient, and connected with their teams.

So, my encouragement to leaders is simple: Notice what makes you laugh. Share it with your team. Allow joy to sit alongside responsibility. Often it is those small moments of humour that help us carry the heavier loads.

What makes you laugh, even on the toughest days?

Practical tools leaders can use

Emotional reset cues

A brief smile, a slow breath, or a mindful pause interrupts the stress response and widens perspective before reacting.

Humour rituals in teams

Small, predictable rituals such as sharing a light moment at the end of the week help normalise connection and reduce tension.

Begin meetings with human check ins

Opening meetings with a prompt like What made you smile this week encourages people to reconnect as individuals and supports psychological safety.

Use humour to model perspective taking

Sharing a harmless, self-deprecating moment signals that imperfection is acceptable. This lowers anxiety in teams, especially during high pressure periods.

Know your personal sources of joy

Keeping a short list of things that reliably make you laugh helps maintain balance when work becomes demanding.